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Mummy is He Gay? Point Blank with Asian Weekly 10th March 2017

Mummy is He Gay?

LGBT Courtesy Stream.Org

 

Get into your living room, turn on the TV and wait for the show Modern Family. This is one of the earliest introductions to a gay couple, while the audience is primarily an adult, the chance of a teenager catching it is not too slim.

 

The modern media is changing fast and while there is race sensitization going on, it is the LGBT that are overtaking the story telling. LGBT stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender. This “freedom for sexuality” has various scientific proofs or basically personality clashes, each to its own. When the AIDS epidemic hit the 80s and 90s, the deniers blamed sexual promiscuity. Now that all those hurdles are over, religious factions too are secretly adopting this reality, especially after the sodomy cases breaking out in the Vatican world, we are faced with a new conundrum, shall we be truthful to our children?

Nothing escapes this new digital age children. It does not take them long to reach their favourite cartoon on an iPad or explain to you a full story of what is going on in a short clip of a film. If anybody knows the hype of Frozen, then you know what I mean, what if Elsa and Anna were a gay couple? The world would surely have Frozen! This is the subtle attempt that the new Disney film based on one of the best stories of all times, “Beauty and the Beast” is going to do. There is a sub plot of a gay couple and censor boards around the world are giving it different certificates, from over 18 to 16 and so on.

More than world still looks down upon women and we are beginning to bring in the consciousness to our girls, that they are important, that their gender is relevant and that they can make a difference in this world. The poor boys have been sidelined and the chances of them tilting during their puberty exploration towards bisexuality may be higher. Boys too need the confidence and exposure that their machoism represents strength and not oppression, that their vulnerability represents feminism and not weakness. A human being has been designed with both masculine and feminine, after all we have been born through the manufacturing of a sperm and ovary. Thus, the scientific drops of gender exist. There can be an imbalance of the chromosones and further to the environment, upbringing and attitude of the personalities around, there can be a tip over.

A 3-year old does not need to know right now that there is a gay or lesbian, but a 13-year old does. An adolescent is in search of his or her identity and if they are not comfortable with their sexuality they can have a crisis. They need the special attention not only to make them feel good but to recognize their urges. These must not be dismissed and if a child does come forth and declare their sexual preference, as a parent, realize one thing, loving them for who they are is more important than denying them their personal truth. Keeping them away from a film or even a gay couple you know will not alter their minds unless you are ill equipped to educate them. First know the truth and accept the side you want only then expose them to this new reality.

The digital age children are slightly aware of the new way to love, but let that not become lust and turn into an opportunity for a sexual offense. It is up to you, the parent to give them their space and reality. Anything otherwise will confuse them, drive them away or destroy them.

Take a leaf out of this famous song “Born This Way” by Lady Gaga:

“I’m beautiful in my way,

‘Cause God makes no mistakes,

I’m on the right track, baby,

I was born this way

Don’t hide yourself in regret,

Just love yourself and you’re set,

I’m on the right track, baby,

I was born this way”

 
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Posted by on March 13, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

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Let’s Talk About Sex, Point Blank with Asian Weekly 18th September 2015

Let’s Talk About “Sex”

Sex Education

The world has changed, people have changed, and information has changed. This is the new age and it comes with its advantages and disadvantages. The most vulnerable in all of this are the children, or perhaps not. They may just be holding the key to our future, maybe with robots? Yes, artificial intelligence is taking over the human race and maybe in 20 or 30 years time to come there are going to be lots of changes and replacements. But what about the human touch, mind and soul? We need to know our species and ourselves more and more than ever before. We need to be as many steps as forward as possible. I don’t mean to sound apocalyptic but that’s where we are headed.

But what does sex and education have to do with this? Hang on, it should be “sex education”. Right now sex is just a click away, accessible through a smart phone, in the Whatsapp messages, on the pornographic sites, on adult TV, in conversations at beer time, coffee time, phone time and the list goes on. It is no longer under a bed sheet, a corner, and car or after marriage. The AIDS epidemic may have threatened its openness but its back with a bigger bang especially with the gay rights granted in Ireland, USA and many other nations. Remember the gay pride flag is a rainbow, so you can’t cheat a child and tell him or her, “look honey- rainbow”.

The biggest fear is how much to tell the child and when to tell them. That depends on how much you know. How have you learnt about it, what have been your experiences, expectations, disappointments, highs and disgust? What does it mean to you as an individual and parent. Here is where is discussions with your parents may be helpful, but we all know that their generation was in the most taboo times, so that may not really work out. Then you are left with your own experiences and knowledge from the World Wide Web. As a parent you know your child best, you know how clever, dumb, curious or devious they are or can be. You want the best, you want to protect them, and you should arm them in every way possible.

Yes teachers play a big role by introducing the reproductive system to the students, but nowadays children really can tell a lot of things. In most cases they are able to tell the baby doesn’t come from the sky or delivered in a basket, they are almost prepared or know it comes from mum and dad, and how that happens is where you come in. The success of your relationship will also interpret what sex can mean to them, so be aware.

Sex education thus is important for all ages, especially the children. They need to know what happens and why, this may not have to be so scientific but more how it is a human thing (I don’t want to say habit, because some may interpret it is addiction). Forget the “birds and bees” talk you may need to get real with them. When your daughter is watching Taylor Swift or Katrina Kaif kissing Hrithik Roshan, she may be curious why and what is happening. You need to tell her. When your son is following Spiderman kissing upside down or Salman Khan not kissing even then you need to tell him why. They easily have access to YouTube and before you know it they are on a semi-porn film. Tablets and phones are excellent for their purpose but with children they need to be controlled. Sex education is explicitly available on the Internet and you also don’t want them to know too much. We are not in search for a misguided Mr Grey for the future.

Have that talk soon, don’t wait, they already know too much.

 
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Posted by on September 18, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

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