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Mummy is He Gay? Point Blank with Asian Weekly 10th March 2017

Mummy is He Gay?

LGBT Courtesy Stream.Org

 

Get into your living room, turn on the TV and wait for the show Modern Family. This is one of the earliest introductions to a gay couple, while the audience is primarily an adult, the chance of a teenager catching it is not too slim.

 

The modern media is changing fast and while there is race sensitization going on, it is the LGBT that are overtaking the story telling. LGBT stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender. This “freedom for sexuality” has various scientific proofs or basically personality clashes, each to its own. When the AIDS epidemic hit the 80s and 90s, the deniers blamed sexual promiscuity. Now that all those hurdles are over, religious factions too are secretly adopting this reality, especially after the sodomy cases breaking out in the Vatican world, we are faced with a new conundrum, shall we be truthful to our children?

Nothing escapes this new digital age children. It does not take them long to reach their favourite cartoon on an iPad or explain to you a full story of what is going on in a short clip of a film. If anybody knows the hype of Frozen, then you know what I mean, what if Elsa and Anna were a gay couple? The world would surely have Frozen! This is the subtle attempt that the new Disney film based on one of the best stories of all times, “Beauty and the Beast” is going to do. There is a sub plot of a gay couple and censor boards around the world are giving it different certificates, from over 18 to 16 and so on.

More than world still looks down upon women and we are beginning to bring in the consciousness to our girls, that they are important, that their gender is relevant and that they can make a difference in this world. The poor boys have been sidelined and the chances of them tilting during their puberty exploration towards bisexuality may be higher. Boys too need the confidence and exposure that their machoism represents strength and not oppression, that their vulnerability represents feminism and not weakness. A human being has been designed with both masculine and feminine, after all we have been born through the manufacturing of a sperm and ovary. Thus, the scientific drops of gender exist. There can be an imbalance of the chromosones and further to the environment, upbringing and attitude of the personalities around, there can be a tip over.

A 3-year old does not need to know right now that there is a gay or lesbian, but a 13-year old does. An adolescent is in search of his or her identity and if they are not comfortable with their sexuality they can have a crisis. They need the special attention not only to make them feel good but to recognize their urges. These must not be dismissed and if a child does come forth and declare their sexual preference, as a parent, realize one thing, loving them for who they are is more important than denying them their personal truth. Keeping them away from a film or even a gay couple you know will not alter their minds unless you are ill equipped to educate them. First know the truth and accept the side you want only then expose them to this new reality.

The digital age children are slightly aware of the new way to love, but let that not become lust and turn into an opportunity for a sexual offense. It is up to you, the parent to give them their space and reality. Anything otherwise will confuse them, drive them away or destroy them.

Take a leaf out of this famous song “Born This Way” by Lady Gaga:

“I’m beautiful in my way,

‘Cause God makes no mistakes,

I’m on the right track, baby,

I was born this way

Don’t hide yourself in regret,

Just love yourself and you’re set,

I’m on the right track, baby,

I was born this way”

 
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Posted by on March 13, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

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Big Technology, Small Hands Point Blank with Asian Weekly 4th November, 2016

Big Technology, Small Hands

iPad courtesy of iPadForums

iPad courtesy of iPadForums

Every party nowadays is full of good-looking food, clothes and abundant selfies. Yes adults are getting into the swing of getting spotted or taking their own for the use of Social Media including WhatsApp. No problem in all of this. Narcissism steps in and other issues pop up but for now let’s talk about how this big technology is landing in the small hands and what happens then?

According to a recent report “in the UK, the average parent with a social media account has posted 1,498 photos of their child online by their fifth birthday, according to a survey by Nominet, the domain name company” (Source: http://www.bbc.com/news/business-37834856 )

Thus, it is only proper we start with the behavior of parents with the use of the devices and what they are doing with especially the photos taken. Taking your children’s photos or videos is perfectly fine and sharing them on the family WhatsApp group is cool too but when your child’s life is plastered all over Facebook that is not cool. Imagine if your child could talk and tell you to stop? The child has a right and you must respect their privacy till they are old enough to understand what is happening and make up their own mind. If you are fussy about being seen then why use your child to get fame? The children are already growing up in a very self-conscious world where we somehow keep reminding them that good looks, manners and clothes are giving them acceptance in society. Whatever happened to good brains, personality and kindness? Parents control yourselves and stop showing off for the sake of kitty parties.

Children should not even get to touch parents’ phones. I get so irked when parents’ sitting especially in religious settings just remove the phone and hand it over to their child as a distraction. What if the child dials a wrong number, messes up a message or some teenage children can read your personal details, then what?

Parents need to maintain their discipline and privacy with the phone. The child may be taught how to use the phone in case of an emergency, for example you are with mum and she is feeling unwell, at least you can look up Dad’s number or call for help. Giving the child the phone to play with it is ridiculous. Steve Jobs who created the iPad advised strongly against letting his children using this very device. This shocked the industry, but it should not because he knew the potential and dangers. It is no secret that your children know how to navigate your smart phone or iPads better than you. That means they can reach anywhere and do anything. Adult supervision is advised and you must put parental guidance and apps appropriate to control the content browsing.

Make them teaching devices and not gaming addictions. We grew up with books and they probably do not even touch a book and as a parent you maybe struggling with what best to give them to keep their mind occupied. While in the 80s (since I am an 80s child) we had more outdoor sports or board games, they still exist and there is no harm to include them as part of activities. These old fun things have their own meaning, then why is it a game like Scrabble still exists and is popular over 70 years now? Help the children transition into the use of this technology wisely and not for the sake of a popularity contest or to keep them distracted so you can do something. More than ever a parent needs to be involved and hey nobody is saying you do it all alone, both husband, wife and get the grandparents involved too. Let them be a part of the raising but the final word and the buck stops with the parents. They must lead the way and even if it means giving instructions to the rest then do so. Aunties and uncles, older cousins must follow suit too.

 
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Posted by on November 4, 2016 in Uncategorized

 

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