“You know I love you when you loving me
Sometimes it´s better when it´s publicly
I´m not ashamed I don´t care who sees
Just hugging & kissing our love exhibition all
Let´s go to the park
I wanna kiss you underneath the stars
Maybe we´ll go too far
We just don´t care
We just don´t care
We just don´t”
That is from John Legend’s song P.D.A (We Just Don’t Care)
What is this P.D.A? For John Legend it is Public Display Affection but for the United Arab Emirates it means jail time.
An expression of love can be made from the smallest things like holding a hand to the largest, making out by the subway. An expression of love can be done by the smallest thing like making a cup of coffee to the largest, building a house. Historically, Shah Jahan made the Taj Mahal for his beloved Mumtaz Mahal, but how is the current generation expressing their love?
Love is what you make of it. “To be loved by someone is to realize how much they share the same needs that lie at the heart of our own attraction to them. Albert Camus suggested that we fall in love with people because, from the outside, they look so whole, physically whole and emotionally ‘together’ – when subjectively we feel dispersed and confused. We would not love if there were no lack within us, but we are offended by the discovery of a similar lack in the other. Expecting to find the answer, we find only the duplicate of our own problem.”
― Alain de Botton, On Love
Every culture has its own rules on how to display love. If wearing a saree shows love for your husband or family, and on the other side wearing a skirt does the same, then so be it. There can however be a harmonious way to live about this. About 30 years ago, the arranged marriage was conducted and the bride and groom hardly saw each other. Thereafter followed a simple honeymoon, because baby making was the agenda. Since then every 10 years changes have happened. 20 years ago, the new marriages happened, and there was a dating process. Now 10 years ago dating opened up more and partners did spend slightly more time privately. Finally in today’s times partners before marriage are in open relationships. Yes, there is Public Display Affections happening around. European and Western countries are liberal in the cities mostly and they understand this affection. There are conservative towns too within the Western world and the family values are higher. However, what your values standard is can vary from your own perspective in life and upbringing.
What is important however is to respect the area which you live in and also who is around you. For example when the couple cut their wedding cake, there can be a kiss, but a French kiss and thereafter being openly lovey dovey can be rude to the rest of the members of family and friends gathered around. When you are having the private friends party the equation is different, you can be open. Once again when couples are cuddly in front of single people it is rude. An office environment is not an appropriate place for P.D.A. no matter which country or culture you are in. Couples who are also cozy in front of younger nieces and nephews can be misleading. Children still need to be brought up in a moderate environment and as they grow up they can be left to be on their own. When they have strong values of culture and moving around society they can handle relationships better. A P.D.A. can be mistaken for an ego trip for a couple to show off, but it can mean, “we just don’t care” in a lovely way. A honeymoon couple walking down Oxford Street in London and giving a kiss is beautiful but of course the same cannot be expected when there is a family dinner.
Be respectful and loving.