Find Love That Lasts
“These violent delights have violent ends
And in their triumph die, like fire and powder
Which, as they kiss, consume”
― William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet
High School has charm, it is when the “kids” are growing up, they are challenging themselves, testing parents and getting pressured by their peers. While there is much angst, there is much love because such friendships last almost a lifetime.
When they go off to college or university then why does most of it change or even disappear? I believe your home environment and the various individuals around you who represent leadership, workmanship, business qualities or family life contribute to the failure and success of your life at university. Yes almost 80% is still you, your brains, your attitude and your own ambitions and effort. For example a well off family may forget to inculcate values of working hard, earning well and doing good; a struggling family may put too much emphasis on lack of money, opportunities and failure. Thus, imagine with all this around, how will the poor fellow like “love” survive?
“A lady’s imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”
― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice
Let’s begin with the lady in mind. The girls today are more well informed and in urban cities like Nairobi more empowered. Thus, they are most likely to choose a great education path that will lead to a great career start and a great financial security. She is most likely not going to divert and will end up working for a huge corporation like Safaricom. Her love interests may be minimal during campus life or one big heartbreak and that’s it, she will find love later in life and marriage may not even materialize till very late in her life. This is not all doom and gloom and does not mean she is evil or frustrated, she choose a career to be her partner and husband not a lazy slob.
A less ambitious lady (no offence intended) will likely settle down quickly after college and then have a family. However she is not likely to find her partner at the campus. She knows she wants a provider and at campus the man is not bringing a salary to the date.
Then who is most likely to end up in a relationship in campus? The lady seeking romance or the lady playing with the luck of desire. They will both fail in making these relationships end up in marriage. If they do, then the marriage will fail immediately or after a few years and maybe one or two child. The roses do not smell that sweet later on.
“Perhaps you think you see a certain contradiction here? In that case, a word in your ear. Study your wife closely, for the next four-and-twenty hours. If your good lady doesn’t exhibit something in the shape of a contradiction in that time, Heaven help you!–you have married a monster.”
― Wilkie Collins, The Moonstone
Now let’s address the gentleman. An ambitious man will also be happier with a more homely lady, he will love her, have an affair or two but he will succeed in both career and marriage. These are rare species to find in campus and they may not even bother with dates but once they do, their marriages will succeed.
The man finding his own ideas or chasing false dreams will fall in love many times during campus life but never fulfill a single promise. He may the most good looking but he will rarely be good looking later to you. Marriage for his is the biggest trap.
The man who has no idea about life, well enough said.
Campus relationships will only last if your backgrounds, your careers, your social circle and your successes or failures are the same. If either one is more or less then you will eventually fall out. Have fun, learn in life and love, it will be very handy later on, but don’t die over it.