Do We Really Need Daddy? Point Blank with Asian Weekly 17th June, 16

17 Jun

Do We Really Need Daddy?


A nuclear family’s definition is one that has a father, mother and about 2 children, where one is a boy and girl, we also call that a complete family.

However things are not so simple anymore.

The roles of every individual in a family is changing faster than expected and getting more complex especially in the Asian families. There are many factors adding up to this, including Western influence, education, income levels and so on. In a typical Asian home, father is the king and the ruler of the house. Luckily there is equality and autonomy spreading especially in urban families and the roles and responsibilities are being shared.

A modern father usually does the following things:

Earn a living

Cook in the house

Change nappies

Be involved with the children

Arrange family issues

Have a social life

What you have to ask yourself is that, is this working? Yes working mothers need support from their spouses and if there are grandparents it is a bonus. The role of a father has changed and in most ways for the better. Having him involved with the children, their environment, being supportive of the wife, her career, balancing the larger family and having a successful career or business, you have a super dad on your hands then. Most men are still struggling with their identity, taking time to earn a living, fit into society and deal with family issues. The pressure is on, to look good, earn well and feed generously.

Here is where the father figures around him can make his life easy. Sit with him, talk to him and be frank about your mistakes and shortcomings, let him feel he doesn’t have to be a super dad or man. He just needs to be himself and do the best he can. Here is also where the mother and the aunties need to tell him honestly about women, their expectations, disappointments and successes. Tell him that she will always change but can be resilient, supportive and the best partner ever. You need to just be yourself.

You might argue that money makes the whole difference. Well think about this, your parents were not all that wealthy when they brought you up, but they were simple, straightforward and with you no matter what. When you bring money into the picture, then even a marriage can break down. A woman doesn’t need a man to have a child, we’ve known that for a long time now due to the medical science. She however can provide for her child if she is independent and has a successful supportive career. Yes there might be limitations of what a father can do for a child that a mother can’t. But what is that? Show him or her that they need to be strong? That’s it? The father represents strength and a mother represents much more. In fact a single father needs more help and not the other way round in bringing up children.

The worst is when father’s are absent and ignorant of their responsibilities. A child has been produced by the both of you and unless you are not going to even put 50% of your time, effort, emotions and resources then don’t waste the woman’s time and tie her down with a child. Go and be your Casanova person, just be yourself.

The famous thinking is that men are more practical and women more emotional. While this is a fact, some men can provide a lot more emotional support and you are lucky to get someone like that. There are cases where some women have become too alpha or disrespect men because of especially income levels, don’t make your husband a house husband and reduce him to nothing because then you are not partners, you might as well hire house help. Women fight for equality, be equal to him too. If he is not cooperating then drop him.


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Posted by on June 17, 2016 in Uncategorized


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