Men and House Husbands? You Must Be Joking!
Here’s a typical house, woman wakes up, gets ready and starts to make breakfast tea and prepares the lunch for school or husband and possibly herself. Everyone sits together, has the breakfast and all are off to wherever they need to be. Here’s a not so typical house, man wakes up, gets ready and starts to make breakfast tea and prepares the lunch for school or wife and possibly himself. Wait a minute, when did the roles switch?
Welcome to the new generation and their duty sharing. Just imagine your grandfather or maybe even your dad making bhajias in the kitchen for you? While the world’s most successful chefs are men, this role of housekeeping is different. There are many dads who love to cook and are quite good at it but perhaps cooking is the exception to the norm or maybe not.
Here’s a situation in London where most of you have families and can easily relate to. They have almost no house helps because labour is expensive so it is no surprise when the husband is stepping in to vacuum, do laundry or wash dishes. Because each spouse works, handles the kids or in-laws/parents and if everyone did their part it makes life a lot easier and less expensive. Very few old-fashioned husbands let their wives slave off and don’t even pick their dishes. But let’s come down to Nairobi and what’s happening here. The lady is the manager of the house and she has a team of house helps. While most men don’t do the housework or cook as much, they remain the old-fashioned men. It is the younger families who are opting to call in the house help once/twice a week and assisting in grocery shopping, chopping vegetables, cleaning the sitting room or gardening. Yes things are changing and there is nothing much wrong with that.
What is wrong is when these tasks are being used to seem that they really can’t live without each other. There is nothing creepier that going to meet a young couple and they are chirping away in the kitchen as if they just met for the first time and can’t even sit opposite each other. They want to sit side by side, share their own conversations and not have their own mind. Then you are wondering what happened to “mankind”. Men are not the greatest homemakers; they neither have the tact nor the compassion. If they do then I am sorry they are gay.
To be fair, as much as women may not be the best office managers, men are not the best househusbands. The man is designed differently from woman, and that’s why they behave the way they do. Yes over the years they have become sensitive to a few lady issues and lend a hand, but I think it boils down to upbringing and manners.
When a boy is thought good manners, appreciation of the opposite sex and life skills then he won’t need to become a househusband. He will choose his path in life, both career and love well. You might argue am I saying that if a man were to stay at home and look after the kids and wife goes to work he is a weak man. Yes that is what I am saying. Call me old fashioned but a man should be involved in changing diapers and even cook once in a while, but he needs to maintain his power, discipline and commitment to keeping the family secure, earn sufficiently consistently and be the provider. When the roles are reversed you are setting up a marriage for a divorce. Women are not great at being strong and independent and accepting a lesser man, it just can’t work.
Let the man be the man and let the woman be the woman. We are out of the dark ages of woman in the kitchen only but remember men can’t give birth to children so they still have their reasons for being how they are and what role they should be playing. Share the work as much as possible but remember too much imbalance doesn’t make sense.