Wedding Gifts and their Melodrama, Point Blank with Asian Weekly 30th October 2015

30 Oct

Wedding Gifts and their Melodrama

Wedding Gifts

The meaning of marriage has changed so why not the active part, the show, the shenanigans- “let the wedding begin”.

People are getting married for various reasons, from love, money, social pressure, age limit and others. Each to his or her own and may your marriage last as long as forever. The interesting twist is that some people are getting married just to have a “wedding”. They want to fulfill their Bollywood fantasy, outshine a friend, relative or business rival and show off. Whether it means doing a destination wedding, having a thousand parties, décor, firangi photographers and designer everything, it doesn’t matter; they must look like a million dollars.

You might argue that maybe only 1% of the community behaves like that, but unfortunately their showiness transmits 100% (paint the town red kind of thing).

So what are we left with, the middle class who is confused whether to be too traditional, be traditional or completely not. This is because unfortunately or fortunately their children have tasted the world if not through foreign education then through the Internet. This bunch also has to deal with another dilemma, which is made up of westernization. Some couples want to mix up their wedding ceremonies, with a western tradition for example wearing a white gown for the reception. Then there are some rituals they don’t agree with because their updated Internet sites tell them it is not in the Holy book (depending which religion you are following). I don’t understand why they don’t just say they don’t want to spend money-entertaining relatives for the 6 or 7 days meals 3 times a day? After all this, imagine what happens to the “gifts” situation?

There are two types of gifts in weddings. The first being the traditional and don’t mistake this for dowry but each side of the family has to give the other standard gifts. These can be in the form of gold, money, clothes or other items. Personally I am not against this, only that it should not go overboard, for example you can’t expect a family to give 100 Punjabi suits to the other family? There must be valid reasons why the girl or boy and their respective families are receiving these gifts. A part of it comes from the logic that a girl is leaving her home to live faraway, say from village to city and her family is giving her essentials to set up. Economically things have improved and women are almost equal in income and other statuses, but here I am old fashioned again and would like to point out, let the mothers, grandmothers or elders of the family fulfill what is most essential without putting pressure on anybody if can be avoided. The young couples of today have the best answer- “we don’t know these relatives so why should we give them these gifts, or if we do give them these gifts then we are expecting more in return.” I mean common on! Understand this, your parents and family members interacted with these so called relatives and friends and thus a wedding is a great moment to pay back, honor and make them happy and vice versa. If you don’t like these relatives or friends then you are living in a fake world. We are living in a people’s world and if we can’t be cordially social with each other then you might as well shift to another planet.

The second type of gifts is from friends or colleagues from your office. Here you certainly have the choice to say or not accept gifts. Don’t get me wrong for being a gold digger but if your friends or colleagues or your employer does give you a wedding gift, it is absolutely fine. It is a rare occasion your friend will give you a Ferrari, so even the box of chocolates or a meal voucher they give you, you should accept wholeheartedly. I know you must be thinking this is a hypocritical way of measuring what you mean to them, but guess what you really do find out who your true friends and well wishers are in these type of occasions. Because if there was a funeral it is highly likely those friends who give you nothing don’t even show up when the pyre is being lit. So best to forget.

You don’t be a gold digger too. Yes it is a fact that most wedding gifts especially those in cash help pay for the bills and there is no shame in that. Money is meant to circulate and if you received it when heartfelt blessings then know this, your wedding will be successful, your marriage will last and you too will grow in cash and kind enough to return it to those who meant well for you.

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Posted by on October 30, 2015 in Uncategorized


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