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Kids need a Kiboko Once in a While, Point Blank with Asian Weekly 9th October, 2015

09 Oct

Kids need a Kiboko Once in a While

Children & Discipline

Before you smile and remember the Kiboko club, this is not that one, this is the kiboko my generation has had in school or at home. Children who have been born in this dotcom world really know how to make their parents and relatives dance to their tunes. Let’s rewind to the 80s when were growing up. We had no computer, tablet, smart phone, big color television, no Peppa Pig, or any other cartoon character taking over our bedroom, bed sheets, curtains, walls and wherever else, even the boxers, socks or ice cream! This branding and marketing is head over parents today and they are running their hands deep into their pockets just to put the child to sleep only because he wants his Transformers blanket. What is this? We were simple children. We played outside and made friends with the neighbors. We went to school in the uniform size our parents gave and only 1% of us would complain about color or fitting. Our hair was done the usual way and not some Hannah Montana way. We did our homework and if we didn’t or failed in class or in a subject then we got a slap or two if needed. But it was not like our parents knocked us around like footballs, their one slap was enough to set us straight and they will tell you we all came into line after a few years. The schoolteacher even knew at least 5 to 10 kibokos were enough per term if not in the year to discipline us.

Let’s fast forward to the today we are living in. Look around and the computer, tablet, laptop, smart phone, digital camera, selfie stick, iPods, Xbox, Playstation and so many other gadgets surround the child. There is no doubt all this is in line with the advancement of technology but there needs to be serious parental guidance and discipline. Kids are more worried about looking good, and seriously I mean looking good, nails painted, and hair gelled, girlfriends, boyfriends, parties and the list goes on. Thankfully the nerds of our time were not so lucky as the current ones because Google and Facebook have made them cooler and even wearing spectacles is not considered so old-fashioned. By the way you will be surprised how quickly the children want to wear contact lenses, it’s as is if they are scientifically enhanced by wearing them instead of just wearing the plain old glasses for a while and keeping their number steady.

Luckily in the middle of all this there are some brilliant children, they are the ones to watch out for too. They ask interesting questions, they want to do new things, and they want to sing, dance, climb, take care of the environment, keep the house clean or just make a difference to the planet.

I don’t have children so some parents may have already been offended by the above and you must be thinking how dare she? Yes bringing up a child in today’s times is incredibly challenging. To discipline them is even worse. It is almost impossible. But there is nothing wrong in listening to someone who means well for you and your child and they are also good at judging right from wrong and are a good role model to a certain extent.

There are almost three sets of parents here. The first who want total control and the child listen to them at ALL times, even if grandma, grandpa or any other aunty or uncle come forward, the child is oblivious. The second are the ones who trust their parents, their relatives and friends enough to let the child go to them, learn something new and make friends. The last set is those parents who leave them completely to the grandparents and the nanny. These need serious counseling, because you really can’t be shopping at a supermarket and it is your nanny or old mother running after them stopping them from playing mischief, you need to grow up.

But some parents really don’t want anybody to discipline their children even if it is the grandparents or relative. They think their parenting is up to the standard and they know their child best. Hold on, reality check you can never be the best parent, you are forgetting when they grow up they don’t remember anything about you. You need to have your life and give them theirs. You can’t have the excuse that you don’t have in-laws or passive parents and relatives that you have to do everything. You should take criticism if not from people around you, then there are plenty of self-help books to teach you and your husband or as parents how to discipline the child to sleep in their own room or do potty. There is no excuse for ignorance anymore. If you spoil your child today, remember you are losing precious time for yourself. There is no patience for parents in the road ahead, only demands and if you are not stable and weak in love for your child you are going to be in serious conflict. Each child is unique and brilliant, beautiful in its own way but basic ground rules need to be in place. They need to at least know how to say, “Sorry, please and thank you.” There is no excuse if they don’t know how to say those words but know the lyrics to a Shakira song. There is something wrong in your discipline. Wake up parents, and don’t let your children rule your world.

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Posted by on October 9, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

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