Which Baby Shall I Raise?
Women have become more career oriented than ever before especially in economies such as ours. My generation put more emphasis on education and getting a decent job, because women were allowed to. They didn’t need to be bound at home to take care of in-laws, grandparents or new borns. Then there is those who don’t want any of the relations named above. Thus, which baby shall I raise is the question perhaps a few women are asking. Majority are happy to earn an education, get a smooth job and raise a family.
Let’s go back to the basics, what is the role of the woman? The most important is reproduction and unless the males have a sex change or miracle, that will remain forever. The woman looked to her family to clothe, feed and educate her until she is married off and then husband pays the upkeep.
Let’s come to the reality, what is the new girl doing? She goes to university, college or gets a job at some point to support her family financially. Dynamics have changed, a girl is now a leading provider for income and essentials in many families globally. Her role is nearly equal, until it comes to marriage and children.
The woman wanted to settle, raise a family and grow old gracefully. The new girl is confused, mostly because those exposed to the Western culture, realize that it is possible to have a dream career and maybe, just maybe have a family. Then there is the other new girl who feels as long as her degree and qualifications are complete she can now pay attention to husband and children needs. Unfortunately these girls are the ones from affluent families. They don’t have to worry about bills, school fees or any expenses, there is already a running family business, husband is diligently working with father and family and well reproduction takes emphasis and life goes on.
The crucial choice falls to the other girl, who is providing or assisting her family financially, what about her own family? A job provides income and in these demanding times, money is a necessity. Thus, she must meet an incredibly hard working and ambitious man who can appreciate her and they know they are both taking care of a big family. Immense support and understanding from the husband and his family is required because their contribution to raising the new family will provide crucial. Luckily in Kenya I doubt we face many “kyunki saas bahu” situations but even so, as a girl I urge you to take a stand. Marry smart and well because raising a child in today’s times is just another ball game completely.
So shall a woman leave work and raise her child? If you are married into an affluent family, my dear lady instead of splashing money on nannies, kindly take care of your own children 24/7 and yes make that husband of yours do some chores too. You have no excuse to dump them on the in-laws or your own parents. You can always pick up your work or career once the children are old enough and put to use the education you earned.
To the lady who is an almost equal partner in her marriage, think about the child. Plan well, save up, use your in-laws or your parents, both of you and build as strong a foundation as you can. Children are unpredictable anyway so don’t be too hard on yourself. Don’t leave your work for a long time. From close to birth and as much as 5/6 months be at home, use the full maternity leave, otherwise get smart, get back to work and use the help of family to get you through this. Otherwise is just too expensive. This doesn’t make the daddy not man enough or the woman give up her job or career, it is a beautiful sacrifice.
Raise your children with as much time and attention as possible because they are faced with an entirely different world from yours. There is the Internet, Social Media, Peer Pressure, Fashion Expectations, Sports and Talent Competitions and they need all the love and attention possible. Remember money will never be enough or make your child happy completely, but you being there even if it is a hug in the morning and a bigger one after school makes all the difference. The mother is responsible for the attitude of a child and this has been proven scientifically. The more attention, positive energy and love she gives her child until 5-years old makes all the difference. Make the small sacrifice and see that you will be able to raise the best baby ever for you. If however career becomes more important then simply don’t have children, make that your baby and move on.